Decisions, decisions....
Well, I see my hope of posting more regularly didn't occur, with over 2 months having passed since I did back on January 10. At least there aren't any cobwebs hanging off the place, so I guess that's something.
The year so far has been interesting to say the least. Not to go into details, but a family member has been struck twice by two health issues, both of which had the potential of being life-threatening. Both occurred in the last month, so it hasn't been the best time for the family. That said, all is fine and the family member is looking at life just a little differently, with good reason. During those times, one tends to examine one's life to date, and perhaps come to the conclusion that some things need to be changed and/or plans set in place.
I know this is what happened to me after a Christmas "excursion" to a Saginaw hospital with suspected carbon monoxide poisoning. There I was minding my own business, when a detector goes off in the house we were visiting, and the next thing I know the fire department was ordering us to evacuate the house, and then I'm in the back of an EMS vehicle speeding to hospital. Thankfully, for all concerned, nothing bad happened health-wise, except perhaps for a little bit of stress from the bill for the pleasure of hanging out at the hospital for a few hours.
What came out of it for me was that I was getting closer to what could be deemed middle-age, something I'd always associated with my parents and their friends, not with me and mine. Getting closer also reminded me that I might only have a few years left to wander around the earth, and that I had better start to think about certain issues and deal with them sooner rather than later.
With that in mind, I came back to the new year determined to make some long considered changes. One of those changes was admitting what I already knew and had been in denial about, that was, moving back to Australia. There are a number of reasons for this, and most of them I won't go into here, because they are private enough not to be aired on this public forum. But one I will: it's all about the feeling of home, of a place where one feels safe and can exist fairly easily within the given constraints.
I've been living in the USA for close on 8 years now, and I have to admit here and now that I've not been able to feel that sense of belonging, rather I've always felt like the outsider. Naturally, anyone who moves into an area and they aren't from 'round here will feel that they are an outsider for a time until the community opens its arms and envelopes them. Even if that occurs, the person will always be identifiable as a newcomer, an outsider, a foreigner, by way of his/her accent and sometimes physical looks. Sometimes having that Aussie accent can be a lot of fun (gets one great service more often than not) , though sometimes it'd be nice just to be one of the locals. That said, I will always consider myself an Aussie first and foremost, and never seriously considered getting a dual passport -- would I be considered an Australian-American then? Yikes!
So, I threw open the idea of a possible move back home to where I would be one of the locals, without that identifying tag, though being a Queenslander automatically gives me a couple of tags, namely as a banana-bender and a cane toad -- could be worse, I could be a cockroach, a crow-eater, or a sand-groper to name just a few of the other tags associated with the State in which you were born (any non-Australians reading this may need an explanation -- email me for it, ok). Those of you who know of my circumstances will know that this was a difficult decision, but at the same time, it also felt like the right (the only) one to make. My family here are on board with it, even though it is a serious move and naturally there will be some sadness attached to my leaving. Right now the issues associated with this decision are being worked through, and it is my plan to have moved back by no later than November 1, but preferably much sooner than that.
More later...
The year so far has been interesting to say the least. Not to go into details, but a family member has been struck twice by two health issues, both of which had the potential of being life-threatening. Both occurred in the last month, so it hasn't been the best time for the family. That said, all is fine and the family member is looking at life just a little differently, with good reason. During those times, one tends to examine one's life to date, and perhaps come to the conclusion that some things need to be changed and/or plans set in place.
I know this is what happened to me after a Christmas "excursion" to a Saginaw hospital with suspected carbon monoxide poisoning. There I was minding my own business, when a detector goes off in the house we were visiting, and the next thing I know the fire department was ordering us to evacuate the house, and then I'm in the back of an EMS vehicle speeding to hospital. Thankfully, for all concerned, nothing bad happened health-wise, except perhaps for a little bit of stress from the bill for the pleasure of hanging out at the hospital for a few hours.
What came out of it for me was that I was getting closer to what could be deemed middle-age, something I'd always associated with my parents and their friends, not with me and mine. Getting closer also reminded me that I might only have a few years left to wander around the earth, and that I had better start to think about certain issues and deal with them sooner rather than later.
With that in mind, I came back to the new year determined to make some long considered changes. One of those changes was admitting what I already knew and had been in denial about, that was, moving back to Australia. There are a number of reasons for this, and most of them I won't go into here, because they are private enough not to be aired on this public forum. But one I will: it's all about the feeling of home, of a place where one feels safe and can exist fairly easily within the given constraints.
I've been living in the USA for close on 8 years now, and I have to admit here and now that I've not been able to feel that sense of belonging, rather I've always felt like the outsider. Naturally, anyone who moves into an area and they aren't from 'round here will feel that they are an outsider for a time until the community opens its arms and envelopes them. Even if that occurs, the person will always be identifiable as a newcomer, an outsider, a foreigner, by way of his/her accent and sometimes physical looks. Sometimes having that Aussie accent can be a lot of fun (gets one great service more often than not) , though sometimes it'd be nice just to be one of the locals. That said, I will always consider myself an Aussie first and foremost, and never seriously considered getting a dual passport -- would I be considered an Australian-American then? Yikes!
So, I threw open the idea of a possible move back home to where I would be one of the locals, without that identifying tag, though being a Queenslander automatically gives me a couple of tags, namely as a banana-bender and a cane toad -- could be worse, I could be a cockroach, a crow-eater, or a sand-groper to name just a few of the other tags associated with the State in which you were born (any non-Australians reading this may need an explanation -- email me for it, ok). Those of you who know of my circumstances will know that this was a difficult decision, but at the same time, it also felt like the right (the only) one to make. My family here are on board with it, even though it is a serious move and naturally there will be some sadness attached to my leaving. Right now the issues associated with this decision are being worked through, and it is my plan to have moved back by no later than November 1, but preferably much sooner than that.
More later...
posted by ausurfer at
9:21 am
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